🎲 Finite vs infinite games in life and which to play

In life, we can choose to play two types of games: Finite or infinite games. Finite games have two discrete outcomes: win (succeed) or lose (fail). Sports are examples of finite games: Rugby, tennis, basketball etc. You ultimately play these games to win. Finite games have clear, strict rules and you have less control over the outcome of winning.

On the other hand, infinite games are more flexible with no clear rules. There is no endpoint. With infinite games, the goal is not to win the game; the goal is to keep playing the game. Examples of infinite games are marriage, being healthy, maintaining social relationships. You don’t “win“ in a marriage, the goal is to maintain and grow the marriage.

We should play more infinite games than finite games. This isn’t to say that finite games are bad. The thing is, finite games can be played to contribute to an overall infinite game. But first:

♾️Why you should play more infinite games and less finite games?

• 😌Infinite games are more satisfying then finite games. Do you remember the last time you got an award? How everyone was amazed at your achievement and the dopamine hit you got from it? A week later, that hit has gone and everyone has forgotten about your achievement. The satisfaction was short-lived. With infinite games, you get more satisfaction from continuously playing the game. You get more satisfaction looking at yourself in the mirror after sticking to your exercise routine then you do by impressing others with how many push-ups you can do.

• 🌱Infinite games allow you to grow and develop. With finite games, you compete against others. With infinite games, you only compete against yourself. You are competing to be a better version of yourself. Infinite games allow you to focus more on the process rather than the outcome, i.e., the journey before the destination.

• 🎛️Infinite games give you more control than finite games. Finite games dependent on external factors, which by definition, are not in your control. Hence, success is largely out of your control.

  For example, if I’m preparing to give a presentation at work and my goal is to “impress my boss“, I am really putting the success of the presentation in their hands. I might work really hard on it, deliver the presentation but my boss is remains unimpressed, saying that my presentation was subpar. In actuality, my boss may have been having a bad morning, unbeknownst to me, and took out their frustration on me. Hence, I end up disappointed with myself. A better way to rephase this goal would be to work on my presentation for an hour a day, rehearsing the presentation and then delivering the presentation as confidently as I can. In this case, even if my boss is still not impressed, I felt good after my presentation since I prepared and delivered it as best as I could.

📝Actionable tips

Here are some tips to use infinite games to your advantage.

• 🎯Use more input goals. Input goals are largely within your control and they can help leverage you towards success. For example, think of a broad, infinite game that is meaningful that you want to play. Let’s say you want to lose weight to get into shape. Cool! Now, to achieve this overall goal, you set yourself a smaller goal of spending at least 20 minutes a day going for a run. Great! So, if you commit to going for a run everyday [the input goal], you will end up losing weight as a consequence and get into better shape [the infinite game]. You set yourself up for success by setting good input goals, and just by hitting these input goals, you will eventually reach your overall goal. The same concept can be applied to other life examples. You should not aim to pass an exam. You should instead aim to study consistently for some block of time everyday, which would significantly increase your likelihood of passing the exam.

• 🧠Reframe your mindset from the "winner mindset" to the "growth mindset". With the “winner mindset”, the goal is to win, period. Any other result is regarded as a failure. In most things in life, you don’t need to be win or be perfect to succeed. In most cases, you only need to try your best and you end up as a winner just by trying. Having this perspective is key.

  Here’s an example: let's say that my goal is to save K20,000 by the end of the year. With the “winner mindset“, if I only saved K15,000, I would be disappointed with myself, call myself a failure and probably not want to try saving money again. With the “growth mindset”, I could instead see the same situation in a more positive light, in that while I didn’t reach my goal, I was still able to save K15,000, which is significantly better than when I started out with nothing. Even though I didn’t reach my goal of K20,000, I still learned valuable skills on how to save money and what mistakes I should avoid in the future. In other words, I may have lost the battle [saving K20,000] but ended up winning the war [learning systems to better manage my finances].

• 🛣️Remember: Journey before destination. I only realized this a few years ago. I realized that you get more satisfaction from the journey itself than the destination. In my case, I thought that becoming a doctor was my end goal. I was so focussed on graduating from medical school and getting my MBBS degree [the destination]. When I actually held the degree in my hand and finally became a doctor…nothing changed overnight. I realized that physically holding my MBBS degree didn’t make me a doctor (in technical terms, it did…), but it was the process of studying, seeing patients and grinding it out during medical school that made me a doctor. I look back now and I’m happy to have gone through medical school [the journey], despite all the sleepless nights and studying, I built great friendships, had good times with friends and ultimately met my wife in the process. It wasn’t easy but I learnt a lot about myself during medical school and ended up enjoying the ride. This is my current mindset going through my Master’s: journey before destination.

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If you want to read more about finite and infinite games, check out the following link:

• Finite and Infinite games

• Finite and Infinite Games: Two Ways to Play the Game of Life

I hope these insights were helpful. Have an awesome day!